Remember this mess of a fit handed down from a cousin?

Boxy cut is too big in all the wrong places, stretchy fabric catches on tiny front hooks, red square sequins a bit much for most uses.

But it’s precisely those red square sequins that made this an irresistable keeper.

Enter Dolly Parton concert for inspiration. Dolly has no fear. She grew up dirt poor. She married at 20 and stuck it out. She takes all kinds of risks. She laughs it off when people are rude and tacky to her. And she loves to show off a bosom.

So take her moxie to heart, and give a big chop of something you know fits really awfully a try. Here’s how I did it (and it was a long time in the making):

1. REMOVE SLEEVES. I sliced through the shoulder seams to remove the sleeves whole. I also cut off the tiny hooks and eyes meant to hold the front closed because they caught on the fabric.

2. PULL IN SIDES. Fit to your body, pin and stitch well. What were boxy shoulders now are effortless cap sleeves.

3. CUT OUT A NECK. The front used to close all the way up - I wanted a loose V-shape, so I had to cut off the excess fabric from the original neck. Also meant pulling off, one by one, the sequins that line the edge.

4. FINISH NECK. Hem the neck by hand or with a binding. I sewed in grosgrain ribbon with the machine, then hand hemmed it over.

5. CLOSE IT UP. Tried a bunch of things to make this a top rather than a cardigan. Wrap-style with ribbon ties looked silly. Pinned the sleeves like a band to the bottom to hold the wrap felt too bulky. Finally - since I knew I wanted the sequins to stretch out into a design - I sewed two big snaps on the bottom corners.

The first set was sewn to the inside and a corner,

the other to the outside.

6. PULL OUT THE BOOTS AND GO. I’ll add a tiny ruffled cami top underneath, and a fitted denim skirt on bottom before going out in public.

and back

She’s coming this week and I’m all set.

View cinematic oeuvre (9 to 5, Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Rhinestone, Steel Magnolias, Straight Talk). Check.

Check out old interviews on the Tube. Watch new video with Amy Sedaris, old musical specials on DVD. Check.

Learn words to Hard Candy Christmas, To Daddy, Tennessee Mountain Home. Check.

And now my bosom is ready to shine! I finished my fabulous TOP the better to sparkle along with the lady Dolly.

Lucky my Mister was stuck at work covering the Indiana primary until very late this eve, freeing me up to think about how to get this refashioned bugger to work.

If you recall, I started out with a giant boxy stretchy red cardigan jacket, handed down from a cousin. And I ended up with the Hottest Little Dolly Top in Chicago.

As always, there’s a How to… right here.

Dolly finally set her dates for Chicago. Poor thing had suffered back troubles and postponed her tour. Thursday (05/0 isn’t as good as Friday (02/29) though May fashion possibilities totally trump Feb. fashion, especially in the Chi. My concert top’s in progress:

Next step: Stitch grosgrain ribbon along cut edges and turn under as a facing.

The news is bad. I guess it gives me more time to make a top though.

My mister gifted me Christmas tickets to see Dolly Parton at the stunning Chicago theater at the end of February. What an absolute doll. Reading about Dolly and listening to her bluegrass stuff on library CDs is preempting a lot of my crafting. But Dolly, the brains behind the title of this post, I think, would appreciate a “new” outfit on me, clearly something sparkly. Otherwise, how will she see me in the balcony?

A cousin gave me this stretchy red jacket thing in a bag of hand me downs.

As you can see, it’s covered in square red sequins, and it doesn’t fit me right. I feel as dowdy in it as one with a bosom badly covered in red sequins can possibly be. It closes in the front with hooks and eyes. They constantly catch on the garment’s stretchy foundation. But the red is glorious and would match the cowboy boots I also plan to wear that evening. And it’s Dolly, for crying out loud, who herself has taste that’s a mess of glorious and awful.

So I’m thinking about lopping off the sleeves and finishing them as caps, and pulling the sides in a little bit to make a kind of top to throw over a denim skirt or dark jeans. Will not wear the star top in a mockery of America.

Wardrobe Refashion is full of good ideas, so of course, I threw the dilemma to them. Will document the sequined surgery here once it’s completed.